Obviously you know how it begins, the small signs and symptoms, but you never really know if your are until you get the proof. So that what I did
This is when it all started
For quite sometime I was feeling a little off. Not my usual self. I couldn't shake away the butterflies in my stomach. I kept getting nose bleeds. I couldn't stand the smell of coffee which wasn't usual for me. I was more tired then usual...Of course the most noticeable sign was I was still waiting for my period...
Which made me wonder...
My partner and I were on holiday at the time and I couldn't shake the feeling that I was pregnant and he wanted to know to get it over and done with. He believed that I wasn't because all the times before the tests were negative. If I was expecting, It would be too soon to tell but I did it anyways
After all the fuss of getting the test and finally going home..to my disbelief, relief yet disappointment the test was...
Negative...
That put his mind at ease for the rest of the holiday but even though the proof was there it still didn't feel right but I kept my mouth shut.
A week after arriving home I decided to go make an appointment at the doctor because I was still waiting for my period and I'm never late, always predictable. The appointment was made for Wednesday 6th February 2013. I told my partner and my close cousin about the appointment,
Few days later had finally came. I parked my scooter, took a deep breathe and walked though the medical center doors by myself and when upstairs to await my doctor. I didn't have my usual doctor because she had changed jobs so I got another doctor who I had seen a few times before with my other pregnancy scares, here I was once again. After a bit of a waiting I heard my name get called. I swear my heart skipped a beat. I was scared and nervous. "How can I help you today?" as the doctor always says.
So I told her all about it and she gave me a test.
I made my way to the bathroom filled the container and put the lid on then I secretly held this pee container and made my way back to the doctor who had the test ready waiting for my pee. I sat there waiting.
It felt like forever waiting for the fluid to form the line or lines. I just wanted to know if my gut feeling was true.
I honestly thought my ears were playing a trick on me. Did I just hear the doctor say the result is
POSITIVE..
Shock filled my whole body. Goosebumps covered me. I couldn't believe it.
I was PREGNANT
The first thing I did was grabbed my phone. I noticed a text from my partner saying "See it negative aye" I reply and texted, "No, it positive". I wish I didn't tell tell him through text but I had to correct him.
Well on the bright side I didn't have to pay for the doctor appointment because I was pregnant.
Anyway the doctor ask me some questions and gave me a bounty pack. Inside was many pamphlets and a book on information about pregnancy and some samples of creams and a nappy. She asked me more questions like do I smoke, any medical problem so on. So I answered them and she gave me a list of midwifes in the area and sent me on my way.
With all the shock, nervousness and excitement I don't remember how he reacted and I just drove home.
The drive home by myself was a blur. I don't remember it. As soon as I got home and stepped inside. I flopped on the couch and started crying my eyes out.
It had suddenly hit me...
All these questions flooded into my head and my emotions were all over the place. What was I to do? I wasn't ready for a child yet. I wanted to became a mother but it was to soon. We had planned for this 5 year from now. My dog was comforting me as I was home alone for the rest of the day til my partner came home. For hours I sat thinking and thinking, crying and crying some more. It took me a while to actually feel excited and happy about this.
After I cheered up I wanted to tell everybody that I knew about this new news but I thought I better just wait til my partner came home. But I couldn't wait. I told my cousin who I am very close to. She was super excited because four month before she had found out she was pregnant. So us cousins were pregnant at the same time just like our mothers. My mum was pregnant with me and her mum was pregnant with my cousin brother.
Finally my partner arrived home from work.. I remember just looking and nervously smiling at my partner. His eye met mine and we just hugged. The first words that came out of his mouth was So your pregnant? Have you told anyone?
After that I cant remember much but texting friends and family and ringing up my parents and grandparents about the news. They all were over the moon. They were super exciting for us. The day after we found out everybody knew.
A few a days later I was going to met my midwife. I'll only have her as midwife for a few weeks because we had our house on the market so we could move to the South Island of New Zealand. We decided to move closer to his family sooner since I was pregnant. I didn't want to move I had everything I wanted but I respectfully agreed.
So this was it we were going to have a baby and there was no way I was going to abort my child. It's my first and it's father is the man that I love so I was keeping the baby.
The journey was just beginning
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